Uncertain

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Uncertain

I don't know who I am 

I don't know what I'll do

I don't know where to go 

My doors are opening 

But I'm not ready

I'm not ready to go

I still need Mom and Dad

I still need Mom to tuck me in

And sing me lullabies 

I still need Dad to take me on drives

When I'm upset 

I slam my doors shut 

Slide against them

Lean my head against them

Hoping it will stay there

I stay In my 5 year old state of mind

I stay in my disguise

I don't want to leave

I want to stay

The doors are opening

Slowly but surely 

I'm still not ready 

I resist furiously 

But they keep opening 

The light is flooding in

I hate it 

It's so different from what I expected 

To happen when I was ready

There was no glamour

No magic

I'm so behind

Everyone else is out

About and moving 

Already on their own 

And me, I'm still not ready 

The doors had opened 

I wasn't ready 

I didn't want to leave 

Now I'm behind

According to Some

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According to Some 

 

According to some 

I'm merely a sky without stars

Just a blacked out slate

Nothing there 

Not even air

Am I really?

Am I really nothing

No brightness bout me

No life

No feeling?

According to some 

I shine so bright 

That there's nothing  but light

Always constant

Never changing

Am I really just light

So much joy that I don't know darkness

I don't know pain

I don't know sadness

That I'm nothing more than a child