Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Uncertain

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Uncertain

I don't know who I am 
I don't know what I'll do
I don't know where to go 

My doors are opening 
But I'm not ready
I'm not ready to go
I still need Mom and Dad

I still need Mom to tuck me in
And sing me lullabies 
I still need Dad to take me on drives
When I'm upset 

I slam my doors shut 
Slide against them
Lean my head against them
Hoping it will stay there

I stay In my 5 year old state of mind
I stay in my disguise
I don't want to leave
I want to stay

The doors are opening
Slowly but surely 
I'm still not ready 
I resist furiously 
But they keep opening 
The light is flooding in

I hate it 
It's so different from what I expected 
To happen when I was ready
There was no glamour
No magic

I'm so behind
Everyone else is out
About and moving 
Already on their own 

And me, I'm still not ready 
The doors had opened 
I wasn't ready 
I didn't want to leave 
Now I'm behind

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